Fabric of Faith
This Lent, for me, began with the imposition of ashes in service of communion in Tymaur Convent chapel, not the usual experience of a Quaker!. I was on a painting retreat where I was invited to play with God. The opening statement of the week was a quote from Mechtilde of Magdeburg,
I God, am your playmate!
I will lead the child in you
in wonderful ways.
For I have chosen you.
Play I did, painting stones, modelling clay and painting paper. The trick was that I used our non dominant hand, I had no control over my painting, even the paper was wet so the colour ran freely into each other. The painting became a prayer, a conversation with God I was invited to be open to what God was saying to me in our daubes and splashes. My prayer time was watching paint dry! And it was amazing. Each painting was so different as I choose what colour God was for us that day. Some days God was purple full of kingly glory and I was orange, other days God was pink and I was green. (Today God for me is definitely daffodil yellow)
The retreat focus was that of the life of Gideon and so I expected a fleece themed event. The day came for us to make felt, making something very substantial out of tiny fibres of wool, it seemed like a miracle.
The theme of the felt making task was to ask questions of God. I used orange as a matrix of my piece which was to represent my life in God, in Christ this was a substantial base for my questions and life to be laid on. I chose aquamarine wool for the Holy Spirit which bordered my life and encircle me. For myself I chose a fresh green and for the questions in my life which I have always struggled those of love and loss purple and red. I lay on these fibres over the orange not believing that I could meld them into anything useful or substantial, it felt very loose and flaky. I could really relate to that feeling. However as I worked hot soapy water into the fibres and massaged them together and finally threw them repeatedly into the sink a miracle did occur and my flaky fibres became matted and strong. The resulting piece which I am proud to call felt I brought to the last Sanctuary service as a symbol of my Lent retreat.
It was for me a very powerful exercise seeing that the very questions of my life with which I struggle were in fact themselves integral to the fabric of my life.
See above the finished piece, which those who attended the last Sanctuary Service will have seen.
I wonder if this week we could look at the questions in our lives with which we struggle. Maybe play with them, perhaps using paint or clay or even the chosen medium of James May plastercine, and hold them in the light have a conversation with God an let him/lead you into wonderful ways.
Uploaded for Gwyn from the comments in last week’s lent post – hope thats ok, Gwyn??? xxx
By: dadube on March 16, 2010
at 8:46 am
Gywn – this was really interesting to read – it sounds like you had an amazing experience on retreat, thanks for sharing it
By: dadube on March 16, 2010
at 12:26 pm
thanks Gwyn, that’s beautiful – and useful. it hadn’t occurred to me to play with God over some of the things I’m struggling with.
though i think this is what is involved in trying to have a relationship – we need to be prepared to step out of ourselves and play, which is easier when you know the ‘rules’, i.e., we know about starting a romantic attachment, we know about choosing a mothers day card, but how do we know what God will do, so play is about taking a risk
yet, if we don’t risk meeting the other, we remain closed within ourselves, so play is a safe way to bridge the difference
and we can relate to others with the freedom of engaging with the unexpected, of letting go of our tightly held view of ourselves, of being prepared to meet them genuinely for who they are, maybe meet God through them
By: subo on March 16, 2010
at 1:26 pm
oh, and cheers dadube for loading this up – i think i might have missed it if you hadn’t
By: subo on March 16, 2010
at 1:30 pm
Thanks for loading this, was just coming on line to sort it.
Lovely piece of writing Gwyn, I loved seeing you felted piece at the service, very beautiful.
By: soniamain on March 16, 2010
at 5:25 pm
Thank Dadube for the unload. I have some pics too but think I need a workshop in uploading stuff.
Glad you like the piece, enjoy playing with God. love
Gwyn
By: gwyneth on March 16, 2010
at 11:36 pm
I think my intention when making the felt was to look at the two main losses in my life my mum and dad and reflect what they have given me which now forms such a strong base to my life and family, it was my mum who taught me how to be a mum after all.Also other who have contributed to make a richer pattern Mary Palmer for one.
By: gwyneth on March 16, 2010
at 11:50 pm
Thanks Gwyn, I love the idea of playing with God – suggests a freedom which my relationship with God often seems to lack! I’d like to try it if I can find a way – I relate to what Su says about rules, I like to know what I am supposed to do, how I am supposed to behave, the idea of play is completely the opposite of that isn’t it? Just experimenting for the fun of it, without trying to achieve anything – as I write it that sounds liberating on one hand and on the other like a luxury that a hard working adult shouldn’t expect to have!! Thanks for stimulating an interesting train of thought. Maybe I’ll have some ‘playtime’ tomorrow!!
By: sanctuarybath on March 19, 2010
at 6:07 pm
Sounds like it was a really nourishing time on retreat, Gwyneth. I feel really hungry for something like this. I find it so difficult to shut out the stuff of everyday life. I need the opportunity to leave it all behind.
Some interesting ideas and experiences have come out of your retreat – I must give some of them a go. Shame you couldn’t have put up a picture of the resulting felt!
By: Carole on March 27, 2010
at 11:24 am
Love the picture Gwyn. looks beautiful
By: soniamain on March 29, 2010
at 7:15 am