I was listening to the World Service this week when I came across a moving piece about death. Let me explain….in Judaism, when someone dies, the family goes into a set period of mourning. One small part of the process is the Mourner’s Kaddish. This is a prayer which is recited three times a day for 11 months from the day of death. It is usually performed by the son who has lost his parents, but it can also be said for a child, sibling or other close relative; and sometimes women will say the Kaddish even though they are not obliged to. It wasn’t a practice carried out during the time of Jesus, and was first described in the 13th Century. The prayer itself makes no mention of death, yet in praying every day, the mourner can turn to God in their pain and disbelief and bitterness and doubt.
“May God’s name be made great and sanctified. Amen.
In the world that He created according to His will, in His kingdom in which He reigns supreme, may His salvation sprout forth and may His Messiah be close, in your lifetime, and in the lives of all Israel, speedily in our days. Say Amen.
Amen. May his great name be blessed for ever and ever.
May the name of the Holy One, Blessed be he, be blessed, praised, extolled, raised high, and made great-Blessed be He!-higher than all blessing or song, praise or consolation. Say Amen.
May great peace from heaven and good life be ours and upon all of Israel. Say Amen.
May He who makes peace in His heights make peace upon us and upon all Israel, and say Amen.”
Whilst listening to the programme itself, I was struck by how many people often forget to mourn at Easter. Don’t get me wrong, the central message of the story is that Jesus rises from the tomb, triumphant from the grave; yet how many of us truly feel the pain of death in connection with the story? When we lose someone close to us, we live with that pain, we can either claim it or try to ignore it, but it’s constantly there. But on Good Friday it can be hard to connect to death. It’s almost too big a thing for us to comprehend. I’ve attended services, I’ve done the stations of the cross, but have I ever really mourned? Have I really thought about how the disciples must have felt, for surely they did mourn.
I’m not really sure what I’m asking you to do, if anything. I’m certainly not saying we should change the way we observe Easter, nor am I advocating reciting Jewish prayers. Perhaps though, this is a time to accept Jesus more personally, to approach His death in a new way.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p006hrrr/Heart_And_Soul_The_Mourners_Kaddish/
Thanks Dadube, very thought provoking and beautiful words. I wonder if other christian traditions e.g. orthodox and catholic particularly they have captured something of the mourning. I know from bits i have heard of the orthodox they do. Within our society we are quite poor at acknowledging death and grieving. I have been working with groups of early years workers this week and talking about how we deal with a child showing us a dead animal ( comes out of conversation on play and denmark!). I have been struck yet again by our own issues, discomfort at the idea of death and our often awkwardness around grieving. Maybe the way we struggle to acknowledge this part of the Easter story is linked with our societies cultural hang ups!?
By: soniamain on March 21, 2010
at 1:20 pm
thanks Dadube, am very much with you on making space to mourn.
Christs death is shocking, unjust, and cruel. mourning awakens our tenderness, as we wish it could have been any-other way
they read the story of Mary pouring perfume over Jesus’ feet, as Judas mocks the waste of money involved. and yet his desperation is noted as he was taking cash out of the poor purse! mourning reminds me that I’ve been as desperate, broken, greedy and selfish as Judas at times. so i treasure Jesus’ openness to Judas whilst facing his own death
By: subo on March 21, 2010
at 3:17 pm
Thanks Dadube,My experience of the Brethren morning(mourning) meeting were Jesus death was remembered using prayer and songs was of sometimes very powerful. Other times felt sentimental and formulaic. I guess part of my disatisfaction was born out of the need to express myself what I was feeling, which women can`t do in that setting.
The process of mourning, for me is about accessing my response to Jesus death, what does it mean to me today.
I am helping plan a Good Friday reflective worship for my local church. There will be stations and activities which will, help engage us with that mourning process.
I think the stripping bare of the Anglican churches in Lent with no flowers ect is a way of demonstration a sense of mourning and marking the season. A way focusing of excluding distraction.
By: gwyneth on March 22, 2010
at 10:28 pm
realsie maybe it’s my church background that’s taught me to take note of my own short comings, to examine my conscience and to accept that my sinfulness is implicit in the crucifixion – somehow
and yet there are other things I find I desire to mourn, – finding so much of life crushed and impoverished cuts deep
as a child we were given many opportunities to explore our playfulness and creativity, only to find as an adult I don’t find it easy to find the time to develop things
sometimes it feels life and work want to fit you into a mould – or if you can’t be made to fit, to discard you, and you find it’s happening to those you care about as well
my husband quoted Kafka yesterday, where Kafka said he felt like he was caught in a butchers meat slicer – only, just being sliced very very thinly
so I mourn the oppression in my life, the lose of connectedness, creativity and freedom. – sometimes it feels like a huge achievement just to get somewhere!
I mourn the loss of love and community in our culture, the loss of celebration and a sense of belonging
in Ps 42 the sense of being alone as a believer amongst faithless mockers resonates with my experience of being a Christian – it’s seems anything is more fashionable!
I miss that sense of intimacy, of just being together, of belonging and worshipping:-
4 These are the things I go over and over,
emptying out the pockets of my life.
I was always at the head of the worshipping crowd,
right out in front,
Leading them all,
eager to arrive and worship,
Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving—
celebrating, all of us, God’s feast!
5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He’s my God.
By: subo on March 24, 2010
at 11:31 am