I have to confess, I’m late to lent this year. It’s almost easter, & really I haven’t given it much thought. It’s been a difficult year, dominated by brokenness & death, & God and I aren’t talking that much right now. The problem of pain, as CS Lewis termed it, looms large in my daily reality, and I wonder if God is as frustrated as I am by the injustice of it all. I don’t believe for a moment that just because I don’t feel God’s presence in my life he isn’t there – but honestly, I wouldn’t blame him if he’d decided to take a break from it all for a while.
After my dad died, I tried briefly to dispense with God altogether.
” How can you expect me to believe you care about me? how can you know what it feels like to watch the person you love suffer indignity after indignity, pain, humiliation, & ultimately a horrible death?”
Then of course I remembered the cross. Well, He’s got me there. So we have reached an uneasy truce. I’m over here with my pain, He’s over there with His. In time we’ll talk again, I’m sure. For now, I’m happy to sit under the blossom & watch His world continue around me, unfathomable as it is.