Posted by: bluevangirl | April 1, 2012

Lent 6 – Palm Sunday

I have to confess, I’m late to lent this year. It’s almost easter, & really I haven’t given it much thought. It’s been a difficult year, dominated by brokenness & death, & God and I aren’t talking that much right now. The problem of pain, as CS Lewis termed it, looms large in my daily reality, and I wonder if God is as frustrated as I am by the injustice of it all. I don’t believe for a moment that just because I don’t feel God’s presence in my life he isn’t there – but honestly, I wouldn’t blame him if he’d decided to take a break from it all for a while.

After my dad died, I tried briefly to dispense with God altogether.

” How can you expect me to believe you care about me? how can you know what it feels like to watch the person you love suffer indignity after indignity, pain, humiliation, & ultimately a horrible death?”

Then of course I remembered the cross. Well, He’s got me there. So we have reached an uneasy truce. I’m over here with my pain, He’s over there with His. In time we’ll talk again, I’m sure. For now, I’m happy to sit under the blossom & watch His world continue around me, unfathomable as it is.

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  1. thank you Clare, for your beautiful words and honesty.

  2. likewise, thanks Clare, I’m so sorry to hear about how much your Dad went through, God has quite a lot to explain. regards & looking forward to seeing you. Su

  3. Life can throw so much crap at you, can’t it? I feel for you, Clare, I really do. I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you about it. I’ve thought about it and put it off and thought and put it off. The truth is, the older I get, the more difficult I find ‘words of comfort’. But you are a beautiful and remarkable person and I, for one, am rooting for you to get through this most difficult time and feel strong again. If only we could get by on good wishes, eh? We’d all be on top of the world. Take your time and above all, be kind to yourself. xxx

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